The Charcoal Show
by for-the-shire
Summary: A spin-off of the Pencil Show and the Sharpie Show, only this time featuring the Wheel of Time characters! If you don't know what those are, read this and find out! R + R!!! Nynaeve's episode up! Egwene...uh...stars next!^_^
1. Weasel and Scribble Introduce Themselves

Disclaimer: We own almost everything in this chapter! Except, of course, the Wheel of Time characters.unfortunately... and the idea of the Charcoal Show..and the fish..well, I said ALMOST everything.  
  
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The Tiny-Piece-Of-Charcoal-That-Grows-Smaller-And-Smaller-As-The-Show-Grows- Older-Because-We-Use-It-To-Write-The-Show Show!  
  
In short, welcome to The Charcoal Show!!!!  
  
I have a fish! Fish! Fish! It's name is Jim! Jim! Jim! I think it drowned! Drowned! Drowned! 'Cause it can't swim! Swim! Swim!  
  
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Weasel: HI PEOPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Scribble: Weasel, there's nobody watching.  
  
Weasel: There is too somebody watching!  
  
Scribble: Who? The audience stands are empty. E-M-P-T-Y.  
  
Weasel: Uh..they're all invisible!  
  
Scribble: Whatever. I think the reason nobody's watching is because they don't know what this is about.  
  
Weasel: Well I do.  
  
Scribble: Does anybody out there know what this is about?  
  
Weasel: I do! I do!  
  
Scribble: Call 555-5555 if you know!  
  
Weasel: *Takes out cell phone and begins dialing* Let's see, what was the number again?  
  
Scribble: That's 555-5555. Call if you know!  
  
Weasel: *Dials frantically, but before she can press call, the phone rings!* NOOOOOO! Don't pick it..SCRIBBLE!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Scribble: *Picks up phone* Hello! You've reached the Charcoal Show! I'm Scribble, and who is this that we are speaking to?  
  
Buttered-Onions: Buttered-Onions.  
  
Scribble: Hello, Buttered-Onions! Do you have any idea what the Charcoal Show is about?  
  
Buttered-Onions: Two insane people trying to make money?  
  
Weasel: I'M NOT INSANE!!!!!!! I'm just special.  
  
Scribble: Shut up, Weasel, I'm on the phone.  
  
Weasel: O.O  
  
Scribble: Anyway, Buttered-Onions, I hate to break it to you, but the Charcoal Show is not about two insane people trying to make money.  
  
Buttered-Onions: Darn!  
  
Scribble: It's just about one.  
  
Weasel: Hey!!!!!!!  
  
Scribble and Buttered-Onions: *laugh*  
  
Weasel: -_- Shut up.  
  
Scribble: No. The show is, in fact, very similar to the Pencil Show and the Sharpie Show, only instead of torturing Lord of the Rings Characters.  
  
Weasel: Which rule!  
  
Scribble: Or His Dark Materials Characters  
  
Weasel: Which still rule, but not as much.  
  
Scribble: It's about the Wheel of Time characters!  
  
Buttered-Onions: It is?  
  
Weasel: Yes! It is!!!!!  
  
Scribble: And we need you, the audience and people watching the show, to let us know what you'd like to see the characters reveal!  
  
Weasel: We kidnap-I mean, star-completely random Wheel of Time characters.  
  
Scribble: And force them to reveal their most hideous secrets!  
  
Both: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Buttered-Onions: Ok, both of you are scaring me now.  
  
Scribble: Sorry.  
  
Weasel: That's our job. *Gets whapped by Scribble's phone. In the process, Scribble accidently hangs up*  
  
Scribble: Oops. Oh well. So send in your questions, all you people out there, because we have absolutely no idea what to ask!  
  
Weasel: Yeah, because Scribble is stupid. *Ducks Scribble's phone*  
  
Scribble: Well, that's it for now. Next time, the show will have a definite location.  
  
Weasel: Yeah, we haven't figured that out yet.  
  
Scribble: See you next time on  
  
Both: THE CHARCOAL SHOW!!!!!  
  
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You heard us! We DESPERATELY need questions! Our first "star" will be the Dragon Reborn, Rand Al'Thor! Send in your questions, people! You can do that just by reviewing! There's a little button down there that you press.but I think you can all figure that out without my help.review so we can write the next episode and get it to all you people! ^_^  
  
The smart one,  
  
Scribble  
  
The insane one:  
  
Weasel Hey, Scribble! That wasn't very nice.  
  
The smart one says: You're right. But it's true.  
  
The insane one says: Well, I don't think.  
  
The smart one says: And that is REALLY all the time we have. Goodbye peoples, and remember: REVIEW!!!!!  
  
The insane one: Hey, it says I'm insane again! I don't like it when you do th. 


	2. Episode one: RANDom Talk

Live from DustBunnyLand, it's THE CHARCOAL SHOW! Welcome!   
  
I have a fish! Fish! Fish!  
  
It's name is Jim! Jim! Jim!  
  
I think it drowned! Drowned! Drowned!  
  
'Cause it can't swim! Swim! Swim!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Episode One: RANDom Talk  
  
Weasel: welcome to the first REAL episode of--   
  
Scribble: The Charcoal Show!   
  
Weasel: The show where we capture random Wheel of Time characters--   
  
Scribble: And force them to reveal their most HIDEOUS secrets!   
  
Both: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!   
  
Scribble: Today's guest is none other than Rand al'Thor, the Dragon Reborn!  
  
*random people drag Rand onstage*  
  
Weasel: Our first question is from me, Weas--  
  
Rand: o.O What am I doing here?  
  
Weasel: ^_^ We are going to ask you questions--  
  
Scribble: ^_^ And force you to reveal your most HIDEOUS secrets!  
  
  
  
Both: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Rand: O.O You people scare me.  
  
Weasle: ^_^ Thank you! My question is, "Why are you so strange-looking? Why is my name Weasle? Is that really how WEASLE is spelled? Why don't you have an X in your name? How come you have birdies on your hands? Did you know that I have a pet weasel? Did you know that I was lying? Do you like weasels? Do you have any sugar? Can you give me it? Well? ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Rand: o.o .......... Could you repeat that?  
  
Weasel: I forgot what I just said! ^_^  
  
Scribble: You have to answer the questions, or we'll sic Nynaeve on you.  
  
Rand: O.O Nynaeve? Where? GET ME AWAY!!!!!!!!!  
  
Weasel: Answer the question, or I'll sic a very mad Aviendha with a spear on Min. ^_^  
  
Rand: Min? Aviendha! Don't do it!  
  
Scribble: Answer the questions.  
  
Rand: I am Aiel. Because it is. No. My name is Rand al'Thor, not something with an X in it. Because I am the Dragon Reborn. No. No. I've never seen a weasel. I don't know but I wish you wouldn't. No. No. I just did. *gasps for breath*  
  
Weasel: *unplugs ears* I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. ^_^  
  
Rand: -_-;  
  
Scribble: Ooooooooookay. Next question is from lemmings-please. She asks, "WHY WAS HE DUMB ENOUGH TO GET BONDED AS THAT HORRIBLE EVIL STUPID AES SEDAI'S (e.g. Allanna Mosvani) WARDER? HE'S ALWAYS SAYING "don't trust anybody, don't trust anybody" YET HE WAS DUMB ENOUGH TO LET HER HOLD HIS HEAD AND USE THE POWER! IS THAT TRUSTING OR WHAT?"  
  
Weasel: Yeah... why DID you trust her then? You weren't... O.O RAND'S CHEATING ON HIS OTHER THREE GIRLFRIENDS!  
  
Rand: o.o; I am?  
  
Weasel: SCRIBBLE! SCRIBBLE! HE ADMITTED IT! HE SAID "I AM"!  
  
Scribble: Weasel, I don't think--  
  
Weasel: I'm going to take this security camera's tape and post it on the Wheel of Time message board thingy for everyone to see and gossip about! *waves tape around head and transports away from DustBunnyLand*  
  
Rand: O.O  
  
Scribble: O.O  
  
Rand: She didn't...  
  
Scribble: She did...  
  
Rand: Oh no. I HATE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!! But, um, crazy lady--  
  
Scribble: Scribble. Weasel is the crazy one.  
  
Rand: Uh, Scribble, I am ABSOLUTELY DESPERATE TO ESCAPE!  
  
Scribble: Well, with Weasel around, I can't exactly blame you.  
  
Rand: *gulp* Well, yeah. Um, I, uh, I just wanted to know if, uh, *gulp* if you, uh, *whispers in Scribble's ear*  
  
Scribble: *grinning* Of course! Get a nice pretty one for me, and I'll get you out as soon as possible. If Weasel tries to keep you here, I'll just, uh, *hold up cellphone in explanation*  
  
Rand: -.- Yeah, sure. *can't believe what he just asked Scribble to do in exchange for escape*  
  
Scribble: ^_^ It's a deal! Our next question is from for-the-shire, who asks, "Why do pink bunny rabbits like to swim in heaping mounds of chocolate by the seashore on christmas day with a neon orange beaver with a bad leg? And is it cold?"  
  
Rand: o.o Uh, maybe, because the bunny is, uh, hungry and lonely? And, uh, no, I don't feel particularly cold.  
  
Scribble: Good enough for me! Your next question is from, uh, your best friend Demandred.  
  
Rand: O.O  
  
Scribble: ^_^; Yes, well, he asks, "Can I have Callandor and the male version of the Choedan Kal?"  
  
Rand: NOOOOOOOO! THEY'RE ALL MINE! MINE, I SA-- I mean, uh, I think that Narishma still has Callandor, and, uh, I dropped the Choedan Kal somewhere. Yeah, that's it! ^_^  
  
Scribble: -.-; Tell the truth, Rand...  
  
Rand: ^_^; heh, heh... What EVER do you mean?  
  
Scribble: Oh, Nynaeve...  
  
Rand: O.O WAIT! No, you can't have them, I LIKE handling incredibly vast amounts of saidin! Except when I throw up!  
  
*Demandred stands up in audience*  
  
Demandred: . I HATE YOU, AL'THOR! I WILL GET THEM! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME! *sits down again*  
  
Rand: Who invited HIM?  
  
Scribble: ^_^ Probably Weasel.  
  
Weasel: *appears out of nowhere* I'm BAAAAAACK! Did I hear my name?  
  
Rand: *sobs silently*  
  
Scribble: Sure took you long enough.  
  
Weasel: Yeah, well, YOU try finding three random girls, and getting them all to sit and watch the tape! I am NOT doing that again.  
  
Scribble: Can I quote you on that?  
  
Weasel: *glares*  
  
Scribble: ^_^; Anyways, next question! Buttered-onions asks, "Which of the three girls is your favorite? Oh, yes, and I'd also like to ask Weasel why she gets so upset when people call her Pink Furby..."  
  
Weasel: DO NOT UTTER THAT EVIL NAME!!!!! And yes, Rand, which of the three girls is your favorite? Wait... which three? Alanna, Min, and Elayne, or Alanna, Elayne, and Aviendha, or Ala--  
  
Rand: ALANNA IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! ELAYNE, MIN, AND AVIENDHA ARE!!!  
  
Weasel: *wink wink* Oh, so you're on first name terms, huh?  
  
Rand: AAHHHHHHHHHHH! I hate you all! I'm going to weave a gateway to get me out of here!  
  
Weasel: That's where technology comes in! I found this baby *pats big machine labeled "Artificial Stedding Maker: Cuts everyone off from the True Source within twenty miles"* lying in the garage.  
  
Rand: -.- I hate you all.  
  
Weasel: ^_^ Thanks! Your next question is from Marissa Taim of the Green Ajah. She asks, "Which of your women is best at *cough cough*... well, you know."  
  
Rand: O.O Uh...  
  
Weasel: Yeah, who? Alanna? *wink wink, nudge nudge*  
  
Rand: *sobs brokenly* ;_;  
  
Scribble: Weasel, please don't mention the A word again.  
  
Weasel: What? ALANNA?  
  
Rand: *sobs harder*  
  
Weasel: Because I made him CRY? Cadsuane and Sorilea said he needed laughter and tears. I gave him tears.  
  
Scribble: Then give him laughter.  
  
Weasel: Easy. *to Rand* Look. You'd better start laughing or I'll get Nynaeve, Elayne, Min, and Aviendha, show them this tape, give them all their weapon of choice, and sic them all on you.  
  
Rand: *begins laughing hysterically* XD  
  
Weasel: See, Scribble! I told you!  
  
Scribble: -.-  
  
Rand: *still laughing*  
  
Weasel: Shut up.  
  
Rand: ..........  
  
Weasel: Plaidly Lush asks, "Is it true you went skinny dipping with Egwene when you were sixteen?  
  
Rand: Uh, *twitch* of course not, *twitch* what ever made you think that *twitch* ?  
  
Both: O.O  
  
Scribble: Um, okay, your next question is from Britt. They ask, "Will you marry me?" *puts on forced grin* Yes Rand, tell us, will you? *makes gesture promising death if he answers incorrectly*  
  
Rand: *twitch* Of course not. I'm *gulp* already Promised. *carefully avoids looking at Scribble and Weasel*  
  
Scribble: ^_^ Good answer!  
  
Weasel: Yeah, he already has four girlfriends.   
  
Rand: ALANNA IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! Although I suppose I do have four now... *hastily covers his mouth*  
  
Scribble: *glares*  
  
Weasel: *looks from Rand to Scribble, then shrugs it off* Okay, your last question is from Scribble.  
  
Scribble: Yes. I ask, "Why are you the Dragon Reborn?"  
  
Rand: That's easy. Because I'm special! ^_^  
  
Scribble: -_-;  
  
Weasel: -_-;  
  
Rand: Whaaaaaaaaaaat?  
  
Both: -_-;  
  
Rand: Also because Moiraine told me so.  
  
Weasel: Does that mean that if I tell you to jump off a cliff you will?  
  
Rand: No.  
  
Weasel: You listened to Moiraine...  
  
Rand: Moiraine is different.  
  
Weasel: O.O Did you like Moiraine too? *wink wink, nudge nudge*  
  
Rand: NO!!!!!!! Moiraine just had a pretty blue stone... shiny... *_*  
  
Weasel: *_* Shiny.......  
  
Scribble: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO!? ANYONE HOME!?  
  
Rand: Can I leave now?  
  
Weasel: No.  
  
Scribble: Yes.  
  
Rand: I can?  
  
Weasel: No.  
  
Scribble: Yes.  
  
Rand: Will you puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeeease let me go?  
  
Scribble: *whacks Weasel on the head with Cellphone of Unconciousness* Yes.  
  
Rand: Thanks! *transports away from DustBunnyLand*  
  
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A/N: Hey, everybody! I hope you all enjoyed the episode. We plan to be torturing--I mean, starring--Nynaeve next. So send in your comments!  
  
On the same line as the comments, we just found out that we're not supposed to be using the review board as a message board. So from now on, if you have a question for us to fire at the next guest, email it to us at four_the_shire@yahoo.com. If you have an ACTUAL review, use the little button down below... you know what I'm talking about.  
  
Also we need suggestions for the victim--I mean star--AFTER Nynaeve! So send in requests for that too.  
  
The smart one who is very pleased with how today's episode worked out ^_^,  
  
Scribble  
  
The insane one, who is happy she got to annoy Rand:  
  
Weasel Scribble, I really don't like it when you do th--  
  
The smart one says: That's all the time we have today, folks! Bye!  
  
The insane one says: Scribble, all I want to say is NOT TO CALL ME INSANE ANY MO-- 


	3. Episode Two: You Pull, I Slap

Live from DustBunnyLand, it's THE CHARCOAL SHOW! Welcome!  
  
I have a fish! Fish! Fish!  
  
Its name is Jim! Jim! Jim!  
  
I think it drowned! Drowned! Drowned!  
  
'Cause it can't swim! Swim! Swim!  
  
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Episode Two: You pull, I slap  
  
Weasel: Hi everybody! *waves energetically*  
  
Crickets: *cheep cheep cheep*  
  
Audience: *is silent*  
  
Weasel: *frowns* Let's try that again. Hi everybody!  
  
Audience: *still silent*  
  
Crickets: *cheep cheep cheep*  
  
Weasel: *glares* SAY HI OR I'LL EAT SUGAR!  
  
Audience: O.O Hi.  
  
Weasel: ^_^ That's better. Welcome to the Charcoal Show, everybody!  
  
Audience: *silence*  
  
Crickets: *cheep cheep cheep*  
  
Weasel: Come on, people! Where's the enthusiasm today?  
  
Crickets: *cheep cheep cheep*  
  
Weasel: -.- In the crickets. Right.  
  
Crickets: *cheepcheepcheepcheepcheep*  
  
Weasel: *brightens up* Well, at least the crickets love me!  
  
Crickets: *stop*  
  
Weasel: -.- The first one of you I find I'm going to step on.  
  
Crickets: *cheepcheepcheepcheep*  
  
Weasel: ^_^ I knew you loved me!  
  
Crickets: *silence*  
  
Weasel: That's it! I'm going to--  
  
Random person: Where's Scribble?  
  
Weasel: *becomes aware that she is standing all alone on the stage* o.O Oh. Um...Scribble...she...went to get me some sugar!  
  
Audience: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
Another random person: Oh, come on! That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard! Everybody knows that you+sugar is a disaster waiting to happen!  
  
Weasel: Yeah, I guess you're...HEY!  
  
Audience: *laughs*  
  
Weasel: STOP LAUGHING!  
  
Audience: *laughs harder*  
  
Weasel: STOP IT! NOW!!! OR I'LL EAT SOME SUGAR!  
  
Some other random person: You don't have any sugar!  
  
Weasel: *becomes aware she has no sugar* WAAAAAAA! And I'm broke, too! Don't laugh at me! T_T  
  
Yet another random person: We want Scribble!  
  
Audience: *chants* Scribble! Scribble!  
  
Weasel : *panicking slightly* Uh...she'll be here soon...but in the meantime you have me!  
  
Audience: *boos and throws tomatoes at Weasel*  
  
Weasel: *whimpers* Please, no! I'm allergic to tomatoes! *breaks out in hives* That wasn't very nice!  
  
Random person #5: Hey! I've got an idea! How about we mob Weasel and make her tell us where Scribble is!  
  
Audience: *roars with approval*  
  
Random person #6: *drags out a box labeled: "Mobbing Equipment" and passes the stuff out*  
  
Weasel: O.O *thinks* So that's where my box went...  
  
Audience: *begins to move towards stage, chanting* Scribble! Scribble! Scribble!  
  
Weasel: *begins to back away* Calm down people! Scribble will be here shortly.I hope.try to keep your tempers.*brain begins functioning* PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! AAAAAAA! SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEEEE! *abandons all dignity and climbs up the curtain in an attempt to get away*  
  
Audience: *begins pulling on curtain to get Weasel down* Scribble! Scribble! Scribble!  
  
Weasel: SCRIBBLE HELP ME!!!!!  
  
*door slamming is heard. Scribble walks out onto stage. Audience stops pulling and applauds madly*  
  
Scribble: Uh...thanks...everybody...but what's going on?  
  
Weasel: Ask them! Ask THEM!  
  
Scribble: *notices Weasel* What are you doing up there?  
  
Weasel: Thank goodness you're here! The audience was going to mob me!  
  
Scribble: Oh, they wouldn't do that!  
  
Weasel: Yes they would!  
  
Scribble: I don't think so. *turns to audience, who have all scurried back to their seats* Would you?  
  
Audience: *little halos appear over each of them* *chants as one* We didn't do anything, Scribble!  
  
Scribble: -.- Weasel...  
  
Weasel: They were mobbing me! I swear! *to audience* Little devils...  
  
Scribble: Get down here so we can start the show.  
  
Weasel: *climbs down* I already started it. Why were you late?  
  
Scribble: O.O Did you really start the show?  
  
Weasel: *nods*  
  
Scribble: *stares blankly, than seizes Weasel and hugs her* You're so nice! Starting the show for me...  
  
Weasel: Scribble...  
  
Scribble: *sobbing* T_T You're the best friend anyone could ever have!  
  
Audience: Awwww...  
  
Weasel: o.O Scribble...can't...breathe...  
  
Scribble: Oh, sorry. *lets go of Weasel and wipes away tears* Thank you, though. It must've been fun keeping the audience entertained...  
  
Weasel: Uh, yeah...entertained...Scribble, are you all right?  
  
Scribble: Never better.  
  
Random Person #7: We want Scribble to start the show!  
  
Scribble: Uh...didn't Weasel---  
  
Audience: Scribble! Scribble! Scribble!  
  
Scribble: Oh, all right. *takes a breath* Hi everybody, welcome to---  
  
Audience: THE CHARCOAL SHOW! *applauds wildly*  
  
Scribble: *mutters to Weasel* I'm surprised they know it so well by only the second episode.  
  
Weasel: *in shock* They took my line...  
  
Scribble: Here we kidnap random Wheel of Time characters and---  
  
Audience: FORCE THEM TO REVEAL---  
  
Weasel: HEY! MY LINE! DIE, AUDIENCE, DIE!  
  
Scribble: Weasel!  
  
Weasel: What?  
  
Scribble: No threatening our viewers!  
  
Weasel: ^_^; Oops. Heh...heh...  
  
Scribble: So much for you being a wonderful friend.  
  
Weasel: *shoots death glare at Scribble*  
  
Scribble: ^_^;;;;;;;...sorry.  
  
Weasel: That's better. Now let's get on with it. The audience is getting bored.  
  
Audience: *bored*  
  
Scribble: For Weasel's benefit, I'll give her her cue again. *whispers to audience* Please don't take it...she's already going to kill me for being late...*resumes normal voice* Anyway, this is the show where we kidnap random Wheel of Time characters---  
  
Weasel: And force them to reveal their most HIDEOUS secrets!  
  
Both: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Weasel: But before we bring out our next guest, I have a question for Scribble!  
  
Scribble: Me? Well, ok.  
  
Weasel: *speaks as calmly as possible* Why. Were. You. *explodes* LATE????  
  
Scribble: Oh, that. I couldn't get my contacts in.  
  
Crickets: *cheep cheep cheep*  
  
Weasel: Why do you cheep for her? She didn't even compliment you!  
  
Cricket: Neither did you.  
  
Weasel: You can TALK? I thought you could only cheep!  
  
Cricket: Shows what you know.  
  
Weasel: Hey...  
  
Scribble: Am I missing something?  
  
Weasel: *turns back to Scribble and gives her a look*  
  
Scribble: Whaaaaaaaat?  
  
Weasel: You got contacts.  
  
Scribble: Well, yeah, why else would I be appearing LIVE on TV without my glasses?  
  
Audience: *silence for a moment, than bursts into applause. All the boys give catcalls*  
  
Scribble: *blushing modestly* Oh, shut up.  
  
Audience: *shuts up*  
  
Weasel: Hey, how come they listen to you and not---  
  
Scribble: *notices viewers starting to get anxious* You know, this has got to be the longest preamble I've ever done. It's over 5 pages long!  
  
Weasel: O.O We should get started.  
  
Scribble: Thank you for your patience, PATIENT viewers, now please welcome.  
  
Weasel: Our next torturee---I mean, guest---Nynaeve Al'Meara!  
  
*random people drag Nynaeve onstage*  
  
Nynaeve: What? Where am I? What's going on? Who are you?  
  
Scribble: I'm Scribble and she's the Insane One.  
  
Weasel: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?  
  
Scribble: ^_^; Weasel.  
  
Weasel: That's not what I THOUGHT you called me...  
  
Scribble: Hey, I could be calling you something involving a color off of red and a certain robotic stuffed animal.  
  
Weasel: O.O AAAAA! NOT THE FURBY!!!!  
  
Nynaeve: You people scare me.  
  
Weasel: ^_^ Thank you! We scared Rand too!  
  
Nynaeve: O.O Rand was here?  
  
Scribble: Well, yeah, didn't he tell you?  
  
Nynaeve: Nooo..  
  
Weasel: Anyway.my question to you is how do you pronounce your first name?  
  
Nynaeve: Nynaeve.  
  
Both: *enlightened* Ahhhhh...  
  
Scribble: Our next question is from Erica Smith. "Can you ask Nynaeve does she ever pull out her braid?"  
  
Weasel: Yeah, what's the story behind this whole braid-pulling thing?  
  
Nynaeve: Um...no, I have never pulled out my braid and there is no story. I just do. *pulls on braid*  
  
Scribble: Don't do that.  
  
Weasel: Your next question is from Jade Sedai. She asks, "Aren't you ever afraid that you'll pull your braid out of your head? Why DO you pull on your braid in the first place?---"  
  
Nynaeve: Slow down! No, I am never afraid I will pull my braid out because I don't pull it that hard. And I already SAID that I pull on my braid because I just do. *pulls braid*  
  
Scribble: I TOLD you not to do that!  
  
Nynaeve: Is there some sort of repetiveness for this show? You've asked me the same questions twice...*pulls braid*  
  
Scribble: You do that one more time and I will slap you.  
  
Weasel: Scribble...  
  
Nynaeve: You can't slap me! I can channel...  
  
Weasel: Scribble!  
  
Scribble: Yeah, when you're angry.  
  
Weasel: SCRIBBLE.  
  
Nynaeve: -.- I hate you.  
  
Weasel: SCRIBBLE!  
  
Scribble: What?  
  
Weasel: Jade Sedai left us a note!  
  
Scribble: No way! Let me see!  
  
Both: *huddle around note*  
  
Nynaeve: *tries to sneak away*  
  
Scribble: Nice try, Nynaeve, but you can't leave until we say you can.  
  
Nynaeve: Well why not?  
  
Weasel: Because we have magical host powers!  
  
Scribble: Everything on this show we control. Even you.  
  
Nynaeve: *pulls braid*  
  
Scribble: *slap*  
  
Nynaeve: Hey!  
  
Scribble: I warned you.  
  
Weasel: *stares at Scribble* Scribble, are you SURE you're feeling all right?  
  
Scribble: I told you, never better. Why?  
  
Nynaeve: So there IS some sort of repetitiveness on this show!  
  
Weasel: No. It's randomness. And Scribble, you're acting all weird. Normally I'm the one who'd be slapping Nynaeve...*brain kicks in* Hey! I wanna slap her!  
  
Nynaeve: That's not fair...  
  
Scribble: You're right. It's life.  
  
Weasel: Can I slap her?  
  
Nynaeve: NOO!!!  
  
Scribble: If she pulls her braid again. *to Nynaeve* And she slaps hard. Rodney was out for a week last time she slapped him.  
  
Nynaeve: o.O;;;*makes small noise*  
  
Weasel: *grins*Anyway. Channeling Wisdom asks: "I have a question for Nynaeve! Can I borrow Lan's ring to play frisbee? And can she go ask Robert Flaming Jordan if he can kill Myrelle for me? And if he won't, can Nynaeve?"  
  
Nynaeve: NO. MY RING. IT'S MINE---  
  
Scribble: ---my own---  
  
Weasel: *insane look*---my Precioussssssss.  
  
Nynaeve: *looks revolted*  
  
Hosts: *laugh insanely*  
  
Nynaeve: Ohhhhh. Um, I don't know anybody named Robert Flaming Jordan, but I'd be more than happy to kill Myrelle for you!  
  
Weasel: Moving on. Next question is from Fireblade! "hehe. Funny. Uh, Nynaeve, do you happen to know that my muse Scheherezade sorta looks like you? And she has the same temper? Only worse? Oh, and do you know what monksbane and wolfshood are?"  
  
Nynaeve: I did not know you had a muse. And how can her temper be the same but worse? And yes I do know what monksbane and wolfshood are but I'm not going to tell you. Go figure out yourself. *hand moves up to braid*  
  
Weasel: *starts smiling evilly*  
  
Nynaeve: *hand drops*  
  
Weasel: *smile falters*  
  
Scribble: Next question. This is from Your Best Friend Moghedien. "AHHH!! GIMME AN A'DAM THINGIE!!! KILL!! ENSLAVE!!! EVIL-PERSON-I-AM-LILLEN-MOIRAL- NO-NOT-THE-TRUE-NAME-I-AM-GOING-MAD-NO-I-AM-CHANNELING-----AHHHHHHH! THE CURSE OF THE CAPS LOCK KILL I CAN CHANNEL THE TRUE POWER I AM MOGHEDIEN NOT LILLEN MOIRAL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA---"  
  
Weasel: Scribble? Scribble! Breathe!  
  
Scribble: o.O *passes out from lack of air*  
  
Audience: NOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Weasel: O.O Um...I'll just finish the question. "oh yeah Nynaeve, you can't handle the Choedan Kal, you suck. haha. From Cyndane: Tell Rand I'll sic you on him if you DO something else with your 5 girlfriends."  
  
Nynaeve: ^_^;; I'll be sure to tell him. Wait a second, FIVE?  
  
Weasel: Yeah. There's Elayne, and Aviendha, Min, Alanna...wait, FIVE?  
  
Nynaeve: That's what I thought! How did you get five?  
  
Scribble: *pretends to be unconscious, is really listening* *thinks* Darn...the number really is five...I hope Cyndane doesn't know...  
  
Weasel: You're not allowed to ask the questions. That's for the hosts.  
  
Nynaeve: I'll just tell him.  
  
Scribble: *sits up* If we let you go, will you forget that?  
  
Nynaeve: Yes! Yes! Let me go!  
  
Weasel: Not so fast. Scribble, why---  
  
Cell phone: *ring*  
  
Weasel: O.O I know that song! *begins to sing* I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves---  
  
Scribble: Shut up.  
  
Weasel: *sings at the top of her lungs* I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES...  
  
Scribble: *whacks her with Cellphone of Unconsciousness*  
  
Cellphone: *beep*  
  
Scribble: Um...hey Nynaeve, you can go, I have to return this call.  
  
Nynaeve: THANK YOU!  
  
Weasel: Not so fast! I didn't get to slap you!  
  
Nynaeve: NOOO!  
  
Scribble: Can you guys pipe down? *to cell phone* Hello? No, this is the UFO. Of course it's me you idiot!  
  
Weasel: While she's on the phone, you will get SLAPPED.  
  
Nynaeve: You have no reason to slap me. I did not pull my braid.  
  
Weasel: I bet you will.  
  
Nynaeve: I bet I won't.  
  
Weasel: Fine. But whatever you do, try NOT to think about pulling your braid.  
  
Nynaeve: I won't.  
  
Scribble: Can you guys just be quiet for a sec? *to phone* Look, this is NOT a good time. I'm on the show right now!...look, I'm sorry if it's important, but I'll have to call you back...WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NO CAN DO? I CAN DO IT FOR YOU!  
  
Weasel: Who is it? Can do what? Tell me!  
  
Scribble: No way. *to phone* I don't care if you can transport me to another place, I KNOW you wouldn't do that...look, I really have to go.  
  
Weasel: Who are you talking to? Tell me! Telllllll!  
  
Scribble: *to phone* I'll give you a chance to hang up or the whole thing's off. Yes, I WOULD do that. You have 5 seconds. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.  
  
Cell phone: *click*  
  
Scribble: Thank you. *to Weasel* What was the question?  
  
Weasel: Who were you talking to?  
  
Scribble: My...boyfriend.  
  
Weasel: o.O You have a boyfriend?  
  
Boys in Audience: *cry* T.T  
  
Scribble: Well, not exactly. He's walking on thin ice with me. I'm about ready to dump him.  
  
Boys: *cheer up*  
  
Weasel: So who's your boyfriend?  
  
Scribble: I'm not ABOUT to tell you.  
  
Weasel: Pleeeeeeeease?  
  
Scribble: No.  
  
Weasel: I'll slap Nynaeve if you don't.  
  
Nynaeve: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. TELL TELL TELL TELL.  
  
Scribble: As much as it pains me to see you hurting a guest, I'll still say...  
  
Nynaeve: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  
  
Scribble: How'd you know?  
  
Weasel: YES! GET OVER HERE, NYNAEVE! *raises hand*  
  
Nynaeve: NOOOOOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T CATCH ME! *begins running around insanely*  
  
Weasel: *chases*  
  
Nynaeve: *runs out door*  
  
Weasel: *follows*  
  
Scribble: Oooooook. Well, I guess that's it for us. See you all next time on---  
  
Audience: THE CHARCOAL SHOW!  
  
Weasel: *from somewhere miles and miles away* HEY! MY LINE!  
  
Hey everybody! Scribble here. While Weasel's off chasing Nynaeve, I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you all to EMAIL your questions to us. We've got a new policy now; questions asked in reviews will be ignored and fed to Gertrude the Angry Gopher. Same as flames. If you have an ACTUAL comment, feel free to leave it in a review, but otherwise, kindly email us your question. Our address is still four_the_shire@yahoo.com (you can find it on the bio page), and in your email, please state your penname and your question(s). Reason for this is we don't want to be kicked off fanfiction.net. Thank you.  
  
Next time on The Charcoal Show, we will be featuring Egwene! So send in your questions for her! Also, if you could please request people for after her, that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!  
  
~Scribble  
  
PS By the way, Weasel, you left Elvenblood at my house... 


End file.
